21 May

Posted at 10:00h by
Friends or Lovers: Do We Have to Choose John Gottman, PhD is considered today’s leading researcher on what makes relationships work. He actually hooks couples up to electrodes and measures them when they argue and talk. Dr. Gottman claims he can predict with 91% accuracy whether a couple will make it after chatting with them for fifteen minutes. This fact from his research seems to surprise everyone: 70% of both men and

14 May

Posted at 10:00h by
spiritual therapist Months went by while I considered leaving therapy. It didn’t feel like we were getting anywhere. At times my therapist, of whom I was very fond, would say something insightful and I’d decide to stay. Then it’d be back to the same dilemma session after session, we’re not getting anywhere -- should I

07 May

Posted at 10:00h by
One of the most formative moments in my life was in a tantra group in India when our teacher, Radha Luglio, was asked how to open more: to more love, more sexual pleasure, more life. Her answer still rings in me: “I don’t try to open more, instead, I become aware of where I am closed.” This is completely against how we conceive of things in the West. If something is broken, we want to fix it. If there is something we can’t do, we want to become able to do it. If we can’t speak Spanish, we will take Spanish lessons, or

30 Apr

Posted at 10:00h by
Geography of Holiness We had ridden on the motorbike an hour to get there, to the little room inside a cave in India, far off the tourist track. When Peter opened the door, it was to freezing cold air, water dripping into a tiny pond, and the tinny sounds of a cassette tape of prayers sung in Sanskrit on continuous loop. The spirit of holiness was palpable, thick from years of chanting, decades -- who knows how long -- in India it might be millennium. The energy quieted the mind of its chatter, and still

23 Apr

Posted at 10:00h by
EarthquakeI’ve been thinking about the two earthquakes that happened a couple years ago. The one in Haiti got a lot of media coverage; the photos broke our hearts. The deadly impoverished country was devastated and still hasn’t recovered to this day. Many people weren’t aware that a quake of far greater magnitude shook Chile, the affluent nation running down the west coast of South America. The Chile quake was 501 times stronger than Haiti’s according to the Huffington Post, and yet we didn’t hear

16 Apr

Posted at 10:00h by
shortcuts_to_mindfulness_normalSome spiritual seekers are wan and dull and gray. They haven’t committed to being fully alive in their bodies, and their interest in spirituality becomes a way to avoid being so. There is no reason spiritual people can’t be the most vitally alive people on the planet. Increasing a sense of aliveness has to do with allowing more energy into the body and releasing blocks that keep energy trapped. Forbes magazine recently featured Richard Branson, the adventurer, entrepreneur, and founder of Virgin Airlines. Now in his late 60s, he

09 Apr

Posted at 10:00h by
Match.comMany of my single patients have lost sight of their humanity in the search for a beloved. Their list of criteria for a partner has become absurd. As soon as they meet someone who is as good looking as Brad and as sexy as Angelina, as rich as a Oprah and as unconditionally loving as the Dalai Lama, they will be able to let down their guard and love somebody. I send them to Match.com not to find a partner, but for an education:
  • A common complaint is “there’s no one out there” or “all the good ones are taken.” By browsing for free, you will find out how many prospects are actually out there. If you live in a major metropolitan area, there are a seemingly endless number of possible partners which will challenge those beliefs for good.

02 Apr

Posted at 10:00h by
shortcuts_to_mindfulness_giveTimothy Leary is remembered by many as a drug-crazed hippie freak, but he was a serious psychologist and passionate seeker of freedom for the exploration of the human mind. Exo-Psychology is an important book he wrote which posited 8 levels of human development. When I read it, it was the first time I had seen Western ideas about higher functioning, and ones that did not necessarily include

26 Mar

Posted at 10:00h by
art therapyJustin is a creative person struggling with the evidence that his life is not working. He has no regular source of income, no girlfriend, and nothing to show for his years in LA. He has so many talents he can’t figure out his direction so he keeps starting over, creating plenty of drama. When I suggest that he may need to get a regular job to stabilize his life, his response is

19 Mar

Posted at 10:00h by
los-angeles-relaxationYou’ve seen the Dos Equis commercials portraying the idyllic life: leisurely lounging by the ocean, taking it easy with only a bathing suit and flip flops between you and the summer breeze. No work, no problems – the recipe for bliss. Except in real life, it doesn’t work that way. Most people who have a chance to live out this fantasy are surprised that it turns out to be a nightmare. After the first few hours, or days, they find themselves bored out of their skulls. That’s because human beings are