17 Mar

Posted at 10:10h by
spiritual therapistA popular post circulating Facebook recently posited that the signs of spiritual progress are about becoming increasingly upbeat, positive, and blissful, a common new-age misconception. Spiritual progress is not about entering an eternally ecstatic state -- that’s called being high. Instead,

10 Mar

Posted at 10:00h by
spiritual therapistA lot of people call me who can’t afford to pay for therapy. It’s true that many of the most powerful ways to work on yourself cost a lot of money. Psychotherapy, high priced seminars, bodywork, yoga classes, nutritional supplements, and seeking advanced training in your field will all improve your life but take significant financial commitment. I personally don’t regret a dollar of the many thousands I’ve spent on the above, but some people

03 Mar

Posted at 10:00h by
spiritual therapist, maslowIf we understand Maslow rightly, once one’s basic needs are met, we are free to move up the pyramid to explore our higher level needs. Once we no longer have to worry about food and shelter, like folks in the prosperous West, we can devote our time to our needs for Love and Belonging, Esteem, and Self Actualization. We can graduate from concerns about finding a job that will pay for the basic necessities, for example, to finding the right job that will help us fulfill our creativity and own special gifts. The human need for Love and Belonging is for friends, a lover, a family, and to be a vital member of the community. If you feel isolated and unloved, the pain will

25 Feb

Posted at 10:00h by
Blisters vs. TeakettlesPeople often ask what happens in psychotherapy. Sometimes, although more rarely than you might imagine, therapists give good old fashioned advice, and famously, we listen intently. Often we teach skills that people missed in childhood such as how to communicate or manage angry feelings. Therapy involves getting better in touch with your emotions, or

11 Feb

Posted at 10:00h by
spiritual therapistSometimes in therapy it can feel like you’re going backward instead of making progress. Sometimes, it might appear that you’re much sicker than you thought. Well, you might be, but then again, you probably aren’t. It’s just that when you finally catch a glimpse of all the stuff you’ve been avoiding, you may be shocked at what you see. It’s like turning on a light and going down into the basement: You had no idea that

04 Feb

Posted at 10:00h by
spiritual_therapist_relationshipsPhilip Larkin, one of the great poets of the twentieth century, famously wrote: Your mum and dad, they fuck you up, They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the fears they had, And add some extra just for you. Everyone could benefit from identifying where their parents “f*cked” them up and working through it. In fact, being clear of non-useful parental programming is an essential milestone on the psychological and spiritual path. If you’re stuck with pain, upset, or

28 Jan

Posted at 10:00h by
Yin and Yang of SexThe adorable young woman sitting in front of me has been sent by her boyfriend for counseling because she doesn’t orgasm in a few minutes as a porn star pretends to. The main source of sex education for many young people these days is online porn, and much misinformation is being disseminated. The major inaccuracy is that yang sex is all there is: sex is only about looking a certain way, vigorous activity, technique, and performance. There is no place for sensual exploration, non-goal oriented play, or relaxation in the presence of the beloved. Very few

22 Jan

Posted at 10:00h by
spiritual therapistI never saw such eyes as he had: soft, velvety, bleeding with impersonal love. When you passed Videha in the walkway, he was not like the rest of us, happily anxious to connect with a friendly face. No, Videha kept his eyes to himself. When I lived in India for a year, one of the disciplines I practiced was Sufi whirling, the powerful method of remembrance of God danced by the whirling dervishes. Through it, I learned

14 Jan

Posted at 10:00h by
spiritual_therapy_yin_yangPole dance classes at your local “Y,” burlesque and striptease billed as “female empowerment,” fetish shoes worn as ordinary daywear, cougars on the prowl, and porn star sex not only ubiquitous on the Internet but expected in every bedroom – contemporary sex is all about the yang. You’ve seen the yin/yang symbol: the white and black teardrops coexisting inside a circle, each half complimenting the other, each