02 May

Posted at 06:43h by
I read a fascinating book in college called Love in the Western World that said that romantic love was invented in the 1200s by the Troubadours.  You remember the Troubadours, wearing those sexy little puff pants, walking around playing lutes, singing about their Lady love. They'd elevate a woman onto a pedestal and long ceaselessly for her; the whole point of chivalrous love being that it was never consummated. It was a sexist day and age, so it was all about a man adoring a woman, and the point was to idealize the beloved but never come down to earth for love’s

20 Apr

Posted at 06:41h by
For many people the biggest barrier to finding a partner is the appearance of the other person. It's hard to be in this culture and not be brainwashed that only certain people are attractive.  In the mainstream mindset, only conventionally good-looking people get to be considered sexually appealing and therefore worthy of love. I was lucky enough to have this pseudo-reality shattered in tantra

06 Apr

Posted at 07:33h by
In the dating world, most everyone nods their heads and agrees when people say that what they’re looking for is “chemistry.” Other similar phrases you’ll hear are “using their intuition” and “trusting their gut.” These are often the same people who believe they can tell within 5 seconds whether or not someone is worthy

30 Mar

Posted at 07:05h by
When we explain that the reason we don’t have love in our lives is that we can’t find the right person, or that other people are flawed or wrong in some way, it's putting the blame outside ourselves for why we don't have love, versus I'm not living in love because

23 Mar

Posted at 07:05h by
It’s all up to me if I love you or not; it's not up to you. It actually has nothing to do with you whatsoever. It has everything to do with whether my heart's open to love or not. So when I'm sitting across from you at a coffee date and we're meeting for the first time or the tenth time, it's not about whatever characteristics and

16 Mar

Posted at 07:16h by
Sophisticated conventional daters will sooner or later come across the mindset that “dating is a series of rejections” and that to be successful dater, it’s about getting okay with the inevitable. One aphorism you’ll hear is “if you want to get more comfortable with rejection, go out and get rejected five times,” -- the idea being that you will learn to stop taking it so

02 Mar

Posted at 06:49h by
Society is designed to lure you away from being intimate with others because you are not spending any money during this time. Intimacy is the enemy of consumerism because your sense of well-being is so greatly enhanced that you do not need to buy material goods to be happy. – Peter Rengel I first met Peter Rengel as one of the facilitators of the Love, Intimacy and Sexuality

23 Feb

Posted at 08:54h by
I know it's quite popular, but I don't agree with this concept that certain people are toxic. It doesn't make any sense to me at all to label people that way; I find it harsh and inaccurate. Perhaps it might be helpful to label some behaviors that people do as “toxic” so that we learn to develop strong boundaries, but the appointing of some beings as “toxic” is often

16 Feb

Posted at 08:04h by
An attitude I came to while hanging out at the Ashram and basking in the tantric atmosphere was we're all spiritual brothers and sister helping each other grow. I'd never thought of the men I was involved with this way, so it was revolutionary, and I'd never been in an environment where men and women treated each other as such. It was beautiful and loving in stark contrast to conventional dating where everyone considers each other either a candidate for the

09 Feb

Posted at 06:57h by
Conventional dating in and of itself encourages us to think there's something wrong with other people and something wrong with us. Other people don't look right, and you don't look right. They're not lovable, and you're not lovable. They don't have the cool moves; you don't have the cool moves.  The conventional mindset encourages us to see other people and ourselves as weird and