It may seem scary or daunting to move from a conventional relating style of being positive and not talking about things to tantric relating where you are living in and honoring the truth. It’s okay to be where you are in the process – it’s...
Tantric relating teaches us to give another person space to be upset. Women especially have been socialized to be so codependent that we rush in and try to fix our partner’s feelings before they’ve even had a chance to feel them. It can be so...
Touch is all-important for tantric relating. Tantrikas practice reminding ourselves that we live in bodies not just heads, and that we want to relate to our beloved from an embodied awareness, not just from our minds analyzing everything. A mind on full-bore analysis mode can...
A relationship is never going to be a finished commodity if you stay alive and growing. It’s true relating can get stale, and either of you could go to sleep. When we saw those types of relationships as kids or as singles, fear loomed in...
Who in the world has ever said, “Please stop saying nice things about me. I’ve had enough”? No one. Who doesn't like to receive praise? In relationships, partners have often gotten into a habit of pointing out what's “wrong” with the other person: what we...
Tantra is all about being in the body. Conventional culture is all about living our lives in our heads: thinking, analyzing, judging. Most of us don’t even like our bodies very much. We’ve been taught (relentlessly) by social media and advertising that our bodies are...
If you’re going to have an agreement to bring everything up, you and your partner will most probably need to cultivate a changed attitude from the one you have now. Doing this practice, you’re bound to learn things about yourself that are tough to hear....
Many couples’ relationships are trapped in layers of resentment. The lovers are still unfinished or mad about things that happened a year ago, five years ago, maybe even twenty depending on the length of the relationship. When a couple has gotten into trouble or is...
Everything you haven’t talked about is going to show up in the bedroom. It’s going to appear as “I don’t feel like it,” or “I’m not in the mood,” or you wondering why three months have gone by since the two of you made love....
You’ve made agreements to talk about things when they happen, or at least as soon as possible. You know that by letting misunderstandings fester, you run the risk of them mutating into something else altogether. You see the benefit of talking about each issue until...