08 Jun Thank You For Bringing that Up
If you’re going to have an agreement to bring everything up, you and your partner will most probably need to cultivate a changed attitude from the one you have now. Doing this practice, you’re bound to learn things about yourself that are tough to hear. You were thinking you were being cool, but listening your partner’s point of view, you have to admit that, yes, you were instead being moody and a tad unkind. This comes as a ding to the ego. You’re not as together as you thought. But really, isn’t that the point? To grow out of having bad moods and taking them out them on people? It often hurts when the truth’s brought up — sometimes it’s a pinprick; other times it pierces the heart.
Saying “Thank you for bringing that up,” when our partner shares their truth, especially when it’s difficult to hear, is a practice that will bypass the ego’s interference. In that one phrase you are not only reinforcing to yourself that you want to hear things, even if they’re difficult, so you can grow, but also acknowledging your partner’s risk at sharing their truth, and that you welcome them doing so now and in the future.
“Thank you for bringing that up.” Sometimes it will hurt to say that. Maybe during a conflict you got all offended, and your ego doesn’t feel particularly grateful. Remember your commitment to personal and spiritual growth. In that moment, if you thank your partner for bringing things up with you instead of withholding, you’re going to feel better. Sometimes you have to push yourself over that hill when you feel a little resentment.
Tantric relating grows through this process. When someone brings something up, if it’s something you did, you should be willing to examine your part in it, as it may be a pointer to how you need to mature, and where you need to change. You might suddenly see a lifetime of conditioning facing you, something you’ve been doing for 20 or 30 years — it doesn’t work and you shouldn’t be doing it any more.
This process clears the throat chakra which is clogged from all the things we’ve never said, all the things it wasn’t safe to say. When you’re tantric relating, speaking truth and having your truth received, talking through everything, then everything that you have to say with each other creates safety in. your relationship.
Making agreements and thanking the other person for honoring them keeps the frequency between you clear and vitally alive. If instead you’re cringing at the thought of what they might say, or they are hoping you won’t bring things up, you’re never going to get to the space of pure, vibrating clarity. Try it – it’s the fast track of relating.
© 2022 Catherine Auman
This is an excerpt from Catherine Auman’s book, Tantric Relating: Relationship Advice to Find and Keep Sex, Love and Romance. This book is the third title in the Tantric Mastery Series. Check it out!
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.