You’re enjoying the perfect stroll along the beach: the crunch of sand between your toes, the lapping waves, the glorious sun on your face. You notice the wind caressing your hair -- suddenly you hear cries for help! – the agony of a fellow being beginning to drown. Your impulse is to heroically swim out, drag the person to shore, provide mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and thereby save their life.Have you heard about this? That’s the exact thing you must not do. Unless
I first started thinking about oxygen back when I started a running program (it was a milestone birthday and I realized, “damn, I’ve got to get in shape!”). I’d been walking about an hour a day for years after hearing that exercise was the most effective treatment for depression. Walking had helped, but when I began running, my mood spiked up in a way that made me realize
The allure of a permanent state of happiness – imagining the possibility is an essential part of being human. We dream that if we do the right things or have it all, we’ll achieve the pain-free, permanently happy life that we imagine celebrities or the super rich have. Advertising promotes the fantasy that happiness can be purchased as possessions, leisure, status, and lifestyle, all of which may contribute to happiness, certainly, but there are no guarantees.Notice that as soon as you download a new song from iTunes,
Tiffany is looking at me as if I’ve lost my mind. She is a corporate executive for an international, brand-name company; a new mother, a sister, a friend, a daughter and wife. She struggles to control her diet and stay fit. She wants to accomplish more with her time, not less. “Do nothing?” she asks plaintively. “And do what?”Nothing’s wrong with accomplishing a lot, as Tiffany does. Western culture is focused on achievement which requires a lot of “doing.” People are asking more of their lives than ever before – we want to be successful financially, and have perfect health and
It’s true there are charlatans and egomaniacs in the guru biz. The media delights in dramatic stories of crazed followers doing odd and dangerous things, like that guy who had everyone drink the purple Kool-Aid, or those folks who committed mass suicide while wearing brand new Nikes when the Hale-Bopp comet whizzed by. We shake our heads at such ignorance and smugly reject the notion that people surrender themselves to anything at all.In the West, we’re prejudiced against gurus. Here, ego reigns supreme, and
“You’re still angry with your father,” I say.“I don’t think that will ever go away.”“It has to, if you want to become free.”Many people are afraid of what’s inside them. They’re afraid of silence, of being alone. Afraid of an unscheduled moment with nothing to do. If it gets too quiet, they’re stuck with the contents of their own minds. Mostly, even though they don’t consciously know it, they’re afraid of the buried feelings inside they have never dealt with.When you have hidden stuff inside such as still being angry with your father, it may surface when something occurs reminiscent of the original trauma, such as arguing with your lover. You find yourself responding in a much bigger way than the current situation warrants because you are
Tracy secretly felt better than everyone at the networking group. The others were not as polished as she or as well dressed and were quite a bit older. Later, when she found out the entire group was composed of successful business owners, while she herself had been unable to get her own business off the ground, she felt shamefully embarrassed that she had been so quick to judge.In therapy, David came to realize
I invented The Egg Meditation after reading Becoming a Woman by Dr. Toni Grant. The book was the first time I encountered the idea that as women, we are losing our yin. Dr. Grant never used that language, but as a Jungian she taught that humans are made up of different components or subpersonalities, and that as modern women; we are emphasizing our active “doing” parts at the expense of our quiet “being” parts. Today, women are
The self-improvement business is booming. Videos, books, classes, teleseminars, newsletters, gyms, get-away weekends: the opportunities to improve yourself are endless. Whether it’s diet, fitness, attractiveness, ability to make money, relationships, or sexual skills, there is a myriad of offerings at all price points.People are caught up in the self-improvement business, but nobody seems to ask
Back in the 90s, I studied with Robert Kiyosaki, the multimillionaire author of the Rich Dad series of financial advice books. He was “only” worth four million at the time, years before he became much richer and world famous. Robert taught us that the number one thing he attributed his success to was tithing, the practice of giving away ten percent of your money. Even when his business tanked