If we understand Maslow rightly, once one’s basic needs are met, we are free to move up the pyramid to explore our higher level needs. Once we no longer have to worry about food and shelter, like folks in the prosperous West, we can devote our time to our needs for Love and Belonging, Esteem, and Self Actualization. We can graduate from concerns about finding a job that will pay for the basic necessities, for example, to finding the right job that will help us fulfill our creativity and own special gifts.The human need for Love and Belonging is for friends, a lover, a family, and to be a vital member of the community. If you feel isolated and unloved, the pain will
People often ask what happens in psychotherapy. Sometimes, although more rarely than you might imagine, therapists give good old fashioned advice, and famously, we listen intently. Often we teach skills that people missed in childhood such as how to communicate or manage angry feelings. Therapy involves getting better in touch with your emotions, or
People often ask me how transpersonal therapy differs from mainstream counseling. It differs in three major ways: how transpersonal therapists are trained, the context in which we hold therapy, and in some cases, the techniques we use or recommend to facilitate change.Transpersonal therapists receive training in the same mainstream psychology as other therapists that is necessary to pass licensing exams. However, we are not
Sometimes in therapy it can feel like you’re going backward instead of making progress. Sometimes, it might appear that you’re much sicker than you thought. Well, you might be, but then again, you probably aren’t. It’s just that when you finally catch a glimpse of all the stuff you’ve been avoiding, you may be shocked at what you see.It’s like turning on a light and going down into the basement: You had no idea that
Philip Larkin, one of the great poets of the twentieth century, famously wrote:Your mum and dad, they fuck you up,They may not mean to, but they do.They fill you with the fears they had,And add some extra just for you.Everyone could benefit from identifying where their parents “f*cked” them up and working through it. In fact, being clear of non-useful parental programming is an essential milestone on the psychological and spiritual path. If you’re stuck with pain, upset, or
The adorable young woman sitting in front of me has been sent by her boyfriend for counseling because she doesn’t orgasm in a few minutes as a porn star pretends to.The main source of sex education for many young people these days is online porn, and much misinformation is being disseminated. The major inaccuracy is that yang sex is all there is: sex is only about looking a certain way, vigorous activity, technique, and performance. There is no place for sensual exploration, non-goal oriented play, or relaxation in the presence of the beloved. Very few
I never saw such eyes as he had: soft, velvety, bleeding with impersonal love. When you passed Videha in the walkway, he was not like the rest of us, happily anxious to connect with a friendly face. No, Videha kept his eyes to himself.When I lived in India for a year, one of the disciplines I practiced was Sufi whirling, the powerful method of remembrance of God danced by the whirling dervishes. Through it, I learned
Pole dance classes at your local “Y,” burlesque and striptease billed as “female empowerment,” fetish shoes worn as ordinary daywear, cougars on the prowl, and porn star sex not only ubiquitous on the Internet but expected in every bedroom – contemporary sex is all about the yang.You’ve seen the yin/yang symbol: the white and black teardrops coexisting inside a circle, each half complimenting the other, each
After living in LA on-and-off for thirty years, I’ve fallen in love with the Hollywood Bowl. Many nights this summer if you trek way up to the cheap seats, you’ll find me sitting with any number of friends drinking a little wine, eating a little snack, and luxuriating in world-class music for a buck. At least once during the program, I’ll consider how I’m the luckiest person in the world to be lounging in perfect LA weather, admiring the silhouette of the hills against the sky, and enjoying
You’re enjoying the perfect stroll along the beach: the crunch of sand between your toes, the lapping waves, the glorious sun on your face. You notice the wind caressing your hair -- suddenly you hear cries for help! – the agony of a fellow being beginning to drown. Your impulse is to heroically swim out, drag the person to shore, provide mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and thereby save their life.Have you heard about this? That’s the exact thing you must not do. Unless