Many people conceptualize that their problem is “low self-esteem.” Their belief is that when they start feeling better about themselves, they will act to improve their lives. Often the student therapists I teach agree and want to design therapy to address this. To me, they have all got it backwards.Back in the 90s, schools across the US started programs to boost self-esteem. They were
For starters at this richly poignant little eatery, my charming companion ordered the house signature cocktail, the Robust Symphony, while I enjoyed a gutsy White Zinfandel with resplendent sulfites. We shared the appetizer of Pork Rinds with Pear Grantinee – personally, I found
Some unfortunate people suffer from depression all their lives. There may be a sneaking suspicion it’s their fault in some way, which is not true. Lifelong (chronic) depression is an illness that can be as debilitating as heart disease, and if untreated can even be
I’ve been trying to sleep for eight years. Oh, I sleep all right, but I’ll wake up at 4 a.m. raring to go with no question of going back to bed. Or I’ll stay up late even though I’m exhausted. For a while I enjoyed it -- there’s a high that comes from extended periods of no sleep, but every high is followed by its evil twin the low, right? Before this,
When pent-up emotional trauma gets released in psychotherapy, it’s a giant upheaval to the entire system – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. The release changes lives for the better, of course. All that secret, shameful, repressed garbage can
People who are new to psychotherapy often wonder what they should be doing in the time between sessions. Anxious to grow and evolve, they’re unsure how to aid the process, and their appointment next week seems far off in the future.The psychotherapy sessions themselves are concentrated, intense 50-minute “hours” one or more times a week. They can be
He looked like Bradley Cooper but he didn’t have a job. At cocktail parties, I’m used to receiving a show stopper response when I reply that my profession is “therapist” or “shrink,” but this was a new one. “Psychotherapy,” he
People often consider their spiritual work to be a separate arena from their worklife. In truth, the workplace can function as an ideal environment in which you get paid to grow spiritually. Here are six ways:1)You have the opportunity to confront your grandiosity.The daily tasks it takes to become successful in business confront the glamor, fame, and wealth the ego feels is its due. On the career path, you
John Gottman, PhD is considered today’s leading researcher on what makes relationships work. He actually hooks couples up to electrodes and measures them when they argue and talk. Dr. Gottman claims he can predict with 91% accuracy whether a couple will make it after chatting with them for fifteen minutes.This fact from his research seems to surprise everyone: 70% of both men and
Months went by while I considered leaving therapy. It didn’t feel like we were getting anywhere. At times my therapist, of whom I was very fond, would say something insightful and I’d decide to stay. Then it’d be back to the same dilemma session after session, we’re not getting anywhere -- should I