21 Jul The Work You Do on your Own
Whether you are single or partnered, you’ll need to work on yourself to create Tantric Mating, but not in the way you think. We’ve been told many untruths such as: it’s all about improving our appearance, or being more youthful or slim, or owning more stuff, but that’s not how you find or create love. Love is a question of frequency, and the higher yours is, the higher the frequency of the relationship you’ll be able to attract and create.
Ways to raise our frequency can be thought of holistically in different arenas: the physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual. Physically, you’ll want a fit and lively body to make love, go on walks together, give and receive massages, and enjoy the activities of daily life until well past the age when most people expect to be old. That means you’ll need to clean up your food and exercise. If you want more than average results, you’ll have to pay more than average attention.
Then we must consider how you feel about your body. You won’t be able to have great sex if you haven’t learned to love your own shape and discarded any nonsense from the culture that bodies aren’t beautiful the way they are. Stop following social media that promotes body shaming, ageism, and materialism; instead, choose instead to follow those that promote loving values.
Raising the frequency of our emotional life involves dealing with any baggage from the past, so clean that stuff up. If you had a difficult childhood and thus difficult relationships afterward, you’ll most likely benefit from therapy.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to assess your emotional maturity: Are you an independent, non-codependent adult? Are you able to soothe your own feelings of loneliness, fear, doubt, insecurity? Are you emotionally reactive, meaning, when you get mad, do you yell, break things, throw tantrums? Are you disrespectful toward others? If you don’t want these things in your love life, best to make sure they are weeded out of yourself.
Are you financially stable? It’s not necessary to be wealthy or have a lot of money, but it is important to be able to pay your bills and have little to no debt. If you are not covering the basics and haven’t put anything away for a rainy day, it will show up in feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem. To attract stable love, make sure your own life is stable.
If you want someone who is ready to make a full commitment, ask yourself if you have you made a full commitment to your career, a pet, your own life? If you’re unsure, in flux, or waiting to find a partner before making important decisions, you’ll attract a person who’s unsure about you whether you are single or partnered.
The best thing you can do to attract and maintain love is to make sure that you are a loving person. If you are only a halfway-loving person, you will attract a person who is only halfway-loving. Ask yourself, “Am I soulmate material?” and if there are areas listed above that need attention, do your work until the answer is yes. You don’t need to be perfect, but if you dream of perfect love, or as we are calling it Tantric Mating, you are half of that equation.
© 2022 Catherine Auman
This is an excerpt from Catherine Auman’s book, Tantric Mating: Using Tantric Secrets to Create a Relationship Full of Sex, Love and Romance. Tantric Mating is a companion to her previous book Tantric Dating: Bringing Love and Awareness to the Dating Process named by BookAuthority as one of the Best Dating Books of All Time.
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