Exercise #5: Tantric Dating Workbook

18 Nov Exercise #5: Tantric Dating Workbook

To put Tantric Dating principles into practice, it’s helpful to examine more closely what might be holding us back from love. Using a journal or just sitting quietly, meditate on these questions:

1. We’ve been brainwashed into accepting a list of conventional search criteria based on looks, age, financial status, body size, and other unloving prejudices. From a tantric mindset, we might prefer to create a list of loving criteria to guide us. Examples might be: compassionate, kind, shows up in service to others, does some kind of volunteer work, is on a personal growth path. List your original criteria and your new. Which list is more likely to create love in your life?
2. Consider a time when “chemistry” steered you wrong. What did you learn from this?
3. Recall a time or a relationship in which you felt rejected, or when you felt you had to reject someone. Is there a way you could reframe that story so nobody, including yourself, got hurt?
4. If I live in a world in which everyone is evolving, and we’re spiritual brothers and sisters helping each other grow, how does that change my mindset when I’m dating? Can I allow other people to be clumsily looking for love, just like I am?
5. We are all a mixture of yin and yang qualities. Previously it was considered right that men should be yang and women yin, but few of us want to live in that kind of world anymore. What are your yang strengths? How about your yin? What yin qualities have you, perhaps, because we still live in a primarily patriarchal world, judged harshly in yourself or others?
6. Sit, relax, and breathe, and turn your attention inward. Where are you holding tension right now? Without trying to change it, notice and become aware – is there often tension in this place? Is it chronic, or just of this moment? Does the attention and breath soften it at all? How is this interfering with being able to experience more pleasure? Exhale and let go …
7. How could I be a more loving person?

© 2020 Catherine Auman

This is an excerpt from Catherine Auman’s book Tantric Dating: Bringing Love and Awareness to the Dating Process

Work with Catherine

Books by Catherine Auman