You Don’t Need to Love Yourself First

You Don't Have to Love Yourself“You have to love yourself first before you can love anyone else.” Justin is saying this as his explanation for why he’s still single. It’s an adage we’ve all heard a zillion times, haven’t we? I used to blindly believe it myself — I’d heard it over and over and read it in self-help books, so it must be true.

It’s considered so absolutely right, it’s not even questioned. I hear it frequently quoted by my patients and friends. But think it through with me:

Many people out there in long-term relationships don’t particularly love themselves, and didn’t love themselves before they got paired up either. They didn’t wait until Read More

What Do We Mean by “Spiritual Relationships?”

What Do We Mean By spiritual Relationship“WIFFM” is the primary motivator for many people in their relationships. WIFFM is a marketing term for “What’s In It For Me?” We have been taught to value people for how good they will look on our arm, how close they come to our fantasy of the ideal lover, or how we imagine they will fulfill our desires. It’s about how it all looks, right? Except that when we focus on the outside, nobody is going to be good enough because everyone is flawed. Everybody. This is why we love the tabloids — we get to see seemingly perfect celebrities Read More