Advocating for Love


What we are advocating is taking a look at how the conventional view of love actually destroys love, and then making the efforts necessary to turn ourselves into lovers, that is, truly loving people. Making a decision to go against the conventional worldview of daters as consumers deciding which shiny new object to purchase. Choosing against being people whose minds instead of hearts run the show, analyzing who is or is not worthy of love based on a set of Read More

The Pain of Romantic Love is Good for You (up to a point)

Romantic love, as we were saying, as invented by the Troubadours, is a spiritual longing for what cannot be had here on the earth plane. The object of romantic love is not really a human being, it’s an idealized image, perhaps a fragmented memory belonging to a person we once knew. Romantic love actually prefers to be unrequited, causing a desire for someone you can’t have so bad you want to tear your heart out. You elevate the other onto a pedestal above Read More

How Do I Open More to Love?


The question comes up: “How do I open more to love?” If I’m working on myself to become a more loving person, and seeking increased emotional and sexual pleasure, how do I go about it?

I would offer you a beautiful, mind-blowing perspective from one of my teachers, Radha Luglio, who has a large tantra practice in Italy. When asked this question she answered: it’s not a question of how do I open more, it’s a question of where am I Read More

The Invention of Romantic Love


I read a fascinating book in college called Love in the Western World that said that romantic love was invented in the 1200s by the Troubadours.  You remember the Troubadours, wearing those sexy little puff pants, walking around playing lutes, singing about their Lady love. They’d elevate a woman onto a pedestal and long ceaselessly for her; the whole point of chivalrous love being that it was never consummated. It was a sexist day and age, so it was all about a man adoring a woman, and the point was to idealize the beloved but never come down to earth for love’s Read More

The Issue of Appearance

Tantric Dating Logo-Lg

For many people the biggest barrier to finding a partner is the appearance of the other person. It’s hard to be in this culture and not be brainwashed that only certain people are attractive.  In the mainstream mindset, only conventionally good-looking people get to be considered sexually appealing and therefore worthy of love.

I was lucky enough to have this pseudo-reality shattered in tantra Read More

The Yin of Sex, Part Two

Yin and Yang of SexThe adorable young woman sitting in front of me has been sent by her boyfriend for counseling because she doesn’t orgasm in a few minutes as a porn star pretends to.

The main source of sex education for many young people these days is online porn, and much misinformation is being disseminated. The major inaccuracy is that yang sex is all there is: sex is only about looking a certain way, vigorous activity, technique, and performance. There is no place for sensual exploration, non-goal oriented play, or relaxation in the presence of the beloved. Very few Read More

The Yin of Sex, Part One

Women Are YinPole dance classes at your local “Y,” burlesque and striptease billed as “female empowerment,” fetish shoes worn as ordinary daywear, cougars on the prowl, and porn star sex not only ubiquitous on the Internet but expected in every bedroom – contemporary sex is all about the yang.

You’ve seen the yin/yang symbol: the white and black teardrops coexisting inside a circle, each half complimenting the other, each Read More

Envisioning Your Lover as the God or Goddess They Truly Are

Envisioning Your Lover As The God or Goddess They Truly AreOne tantric exercise you can practice at home is to envision your lover as the god or goddess they truly are. That may seem a bit farfetched in today’s world, as modern lovers are well too aware of what is “wrong” with their partner. Constantly bombarded with images of what the perfect lover looks like, talks like, kisses like, and makes love like, we compare and analyze and find our partners not measuring up. Since it is hard for a mere human being to Read More