It’s like you never cleaned your house or your car and all that gunk kept building up. When you go on a cleanse and release old toxic matter that has been in you for decades, you will also release the emotions that have been trapped. The toxic matter often contains the energy of what was going on that we held onto, sometimes sadness, or anger, or other emotional stuckness that needs release. All this trapped stuff inside is toxic build-up; it affects your emotions and makes your attitude negative.  Concurrent psychotherapy can be very helpful with the release process.

Spring (“spring cleaning”) or summer when the weather is hot are the best times to go on a cleanse. Most involve eating lighter on the food chain, or eating only alkaline foods, or fasting, plus eliminative herbs. Most involve cleansing processes like colonics and/or enemas. You have to get over your distaste for this; it will be good for your acceptance of your and other people’s bodies. The main teaching on a Tantric level is getting over your revulsion to the body’s natural processes.

Personally, I love the Arise & Shine program and have done it at least a dozen times. It involves eating only fruits, vegetables, and alkaline grains plus herbs for a month, and then if you’re ready, fasting on juice and water for an intensive week. You learn a lot about your body when you see how much stuff comes out of you when you’re not eating, I mean, where is that stuff coming from? Gross, but certainly it is better out of the body than in.

When you are cleaned out, you will experience new levels of clarity, well being, and health. For awhile, you will have lost your cravings for addictive foods, but only until you start eating them again. You will bring to yourself and all you meet a new clean shining awareness without all that toxicity standing between you.

© 2010 Catherine Auman

“Your mum and dad, they fuck you up,

They may not mean to, but they do.

They fill you with the fears they had,

And add some extra just for you.”

Everyone could benefit from identifying where their parents “f*cked them up” and working through it. In fact, being clear of non-useful parental programming is an essential milestone on the psychological and spiritual path. If you’re stuck with pain, upset, or wishing anything were different about your childhood, you can’t progress to a space of having more interesting problems to solve.

In one of the Castaneda books, Don Juan instructed his apprentice, Carlos, “You have to kill your parents.” People are willing to move clear across the country, if not the world, to create distance between themselves and their parents and ‘kill’ their presence in their lives, but it’s really internal distance they are seeking: separation from expectations, a separate identity, and freedom from parental do’s and don’ts.

Helping people get unstuck from their parents is one of the things we do in psychotherapy. In some cases, it can be completed relatively quickly; in others, it takes lengthy excavation work, depending on the severity of the trauma suffered, and how deeply it is lodged in the cells and tissues of the body. It’s more complicated, of course, if there’s been abuse, but everyone must separate themselves from the parts of the parent’s message that is not them. When the work is successful, a new person emerges who is uniquely one’s self, taking the best that the parents gave them, and released from what doesn’t fit. It can be hard work, but freedom is worth every iota of effort and commitment.

It’s possible to come to a place where there’s no pain left, no more anger or resentment, no heat, no charge. Once you ‘kill’ your parents and your unhealthy attachment to them, you become free to love them for the first time, to meet them as one adult to another rather than as a child to parent. To progress along life’s path, you must come to a place where you’re not afraid of anything that’s inside any more. And that is possible for you.

Leonard Orr, the inventor of Rebirthing, said, “If you don’t hate your parents, you haven’t even started.” Is it time for you to complete this stage of your development once and for all?

© 2010 Catherine Auman

Transpersonal therapists receive training in the same mainstream psychology as other therapists that is necessary to pass licensing exams. However, we are not satisfied with that as we don’t believe the modern West has all the answers, so we acquire additional training into the psychologies of other cultures: Eastern religions, Native peoples,  LSD research and other altered states of consciousness, mysticism, and the esoteric aspects of all religions which Aldous Huxley dubbed “the perennial philosophy.”

This context we offer is open to spirituality and alternate ways of knowing, making the space safe for people who identify as ‘spiritual,’ i.e. those for whom spiritual search is an integral and compelling part of their life. Spiritual people are often reluctant to enter mainstream therapy with good reason, as few conventional therapists know how to honor what is outside their own mindset. Spiritual people want to be able to talk with their therapists about their experiences with altered states of consciousness, their thirst for higher knowledge and abilities. They want to be understood for wanting to be free, truly free, even if it means challenging the status quo of the mainstream culture. They want help to untangle unhelpful patterns from the past the same as other clients, but they want it from people who have gotten free themselves.

The transpersonal context is one of support for alternate ways of knowing, of understanding that a person may not want to adapt themselves to a culture that is itself sick, and that ours is not the highest state of evolution possible. It’s knowing that sometimes the greatest things humans can know come from the heart rather than the mind, that compassion may be a greater value than consumerism, that striving to reach to one’s potential is more fascinating than owning and wearing the right logos. The truly transpersonal embraces the logos too, why not? But for people who have glimpsed a reality beyond that beckons and won’t let them go, it becomes of utmost importance to remove the blocks that stand in the way of resting in the quiet space where lies the Truth of who we really are.

Techniques that transpersonal therapists utilize may include meditation, energy work, or other alternative modalities. The most important thing however is sound clinical skills, the ability to really ‘get’ the client, and the therapist’s commitment to their own ongoing growth.

© 2010 Catherine Auman

In the West, we’re prejudiced against gurus. Here, ego reigns supreme, and the ego’s first tenet is ‘nobody knows better than me.’ Granted, there’s a lot to be said for how Americans distrust authority, question pomposity, and demand to ferret out the truth for ourselves. But by our closed-mindedness, we miss knowing about higher states of consciousness known to the East that aren’t necessarily promoted on our nightly menu of sexy sitcoms and reality TV.

I got broken open to all this by amazing human beings I met in India. Although I had been studying personal and spiritual growth for decades, nothing had prepared me for the shock of the energy phenomena in their presence. It was like I had taken psychedelic drugs when I hadn’t: the room began to swirl, the lights bending and warping. My breathing changed like it does when you’re having sex – gasping for air, tingling all over. My mind became blessedly silent – everything okay, perfect, just the way it is.

Okay, maybe you’re thinking it was something I ate, or a weird brain fugue or something. I can only explain it as these persons manifest at a higher frequency than we do, that in their presence, our bodies go haywire. It became irrefutable that there’s more going on than Western culture has given us a context for, and that higher levels of human development exist and are available.

The tradition in the East is to surrender to the Guru, and the media is quick to point out abuses. What isn’t shown is the advantage of surrendering one’s belief that ‘I already knows everything and no one can teach me anything.’ The benefit is immeasurable in one’s becoming teachable, of the ego humbling itself in the presence of something so far beyond it.

In the East, it’s believed that the Guru points the Way. We get confused because we think it’s about following another person’s weird dictates, like ‘give me all your money’ or ‘drink this potion’. Osho, a well-known guru, once explained it by saying, “Don’t look at my finger; look where I’m pointing.”

My experience is that absorbing the radiance of a person of higher frequency is in itself uplifting and healing. Sitting in the presence of an Awakened Being will do more for your spiritual growth than years of working on yourself.

© 2010 Catherine Auman

1) You believe that by thinking positively or by saying affirmations, life will follow your whims and dictates. In psychology, we call this ‘magical thinking.’ In reality, it takes a lot of hard work to accomplish your dreams, to live the life to which you aspire. Thinking right is an important part of the process, but it is only the very beginning.

2) You take the idea that ‘you create your own reality’ a little too far. I see people who are full of self-blame and loathing because they hate themselves for their childhoods or for the way their lives have turned out. This line of taking full responsibility can be helpful, but there are limits. A world outside of us exists. Many cancers are caused by toxins in the environment. The children in the Sudan who had their arms chopped off in the war weren’t creating that reality for themselves – someone very cruel was forcing it on them.

3) You believe that the light can exist without the dark, or that the light is the only thing of value. Many people are searching for a simple solution to become happy all the time which can lead them to deny their more difficult feelings, such as grief or anger, thinking them to be ‘not spiritual.’  On the contrary, these more difficult feelings serve a purpose, often letting us know when we are off track, when we have hurt someone, or when a change in our behavior is needed. The attitude of discounting the dark can lead to addiction – always looking for a high.

4) You don’t do your psychological work because you believe it will just go away if you’re spiritual enough. You believe that meditating more will cure your depression, or that doing more yoga will cure your relationship problems. You don’t understand the difference between psychology and spirituality, or that freeing yourself of your personal blocks can actually accelerate your spiritual growth. There are therapists who specialize in psychotherapy for spiritual people like here at The Transpersonal Counseling Center. Getting the help you need from a psychotherapist who understands the special needs of the spiritual path can be a life-changing step on your personal journey.

© 2010 Catherine Auman

Kyle is late on his rent again, and can’t be sure he’s not overdrawn. It’s always this chaos, every month. That reservation he made for the weeklong meditation retreat was more than he could afford – but maybe he’ll get some answers there.

Jennifer and Kyle are examples of what we call spiritual bypass: when a person’s spiritual intentions and aspirations are sincere, but their unfinished business is holding them back.

People become attracted to spirituality in the hope it will solve life’s problems and relieve pain and suffering, but it’s not quite that simple. A popular misconception is that spiritual practice will in and of itself resolve psychological issues.  Best-selling books advocate that by ignoring our discomfort and focusing on the Light, or on what we wish to manifest, we can get everything we want. This idea of positive thinking, or the law of attraction, can divert us from our real issues.

You can’t make progress on the spiritual path if you’re ignoring your pain. Pain, in fact, is an indication of where you need to grow – by pretending we’re happy all the time, we miss the lessons our suffering and humanity are trying to teach us. As Alan Cohen says in Wisdom of The Heart, “If you desire to know where your spiritual work lies, look to your emotional pain.”

When we have unmet needs, they will clamor for our attention and divert us from what we want to be our path. Hence, we end up battling addictions, psychological issues, and not living our right life, rather than making the spiritual progress we hoped. Failing to discriminate between pseudo-spirituality and true inner transformation, we can get lost for years or life times.

Kyle and Jennifer and others like them are sincere spiritual seekers, but not dealing with their psychological issues is stunting their spiritual growth. Jen needs to get help from an eating disorder therapist, or depending on the severity of her problem, spend some time in a treatment program. Kyle needs to understand that being on a spiritual path doesn’t negate needing to learn how to handle money. Working with a psychotherapist who specializes in understanding the pitfalls of the spiritual path could make all the difference in the world.

© 2010 Catherine Auman

The human need for Love and Belonging is for friends, a lover, a family, and to be a vital member of the community. If you feel isolated and unloved, the pain will cause one to be stuck here in their personal development until these needs are met. I often think of how primitive humans existed in small tribes, and I don’t think we’ve evolved out of this need for being part of a small group. In our lonely cities, many are struggling to feel connected, and new communities are springing up online.

Esteem needs are the next level of Maslow’s pyramid, which means needing respect from others, a certain degree of status, self-confidence, achievement, independence, self-respect. The word on the street is that this should all come from within, but it’s a human need to want to be acknowledged by one’s community.

The top level is Self Actualization which Maslow said only 2 % of people achieve. Here an individual is enjoying the desire to fulfill their potentials, to be all that one can be, to become one’s most complete, fulfilled self. These people tend to enjoy solving problems rather than finding them burdensome, have a great degree of acceptance of self and others, and tend to have increased spontaneity, nonconformity, and creativity.

Self Actualize-ers also tend to have what are called Peak Experiences, or moments that make you feel One with God or nature. There is a feeling of being part of the Infinite and Eternal, and people having this experience report being changed forever for the better. Sometimes these peaks are called mystical experiences, sometimes they are found through drugs, and they are part of many religious traditions.

People who live in prosperity can devote time to their growth and development and can progress to a point where their lower needs are met. Then there is a possibility to move up to levels that involve having experiences that teach them about spirituality and the Infinite. Maslow posited that this our biological destiny, and a life force that drives us.

© 2010 Catherine Auman

The couple had found me through Google as a ‘transpersonal’ therapist, or one who has had training in assessing and treating what is called “spiritual emergency.” For although their friend has a history of severe mental illness, many of her symptoms are the same or similar as those of spiritual awakening.

She was also experiencing evidence of a broader spiritual understanding, of increased compassion, of expansiveness, of the knowledge that everything is made of swirling energy, and that she has an important role to play on earth. Unfortunately, since this was mixed up with her psychotic symptoms, her friends weren’t sure what to do.

They didn’t want her to be just medicated and thrown into the hospital again. Conventionally trained mental health professionals are not taught how to distinguish between mental illness and spiritual awakening, which can at times resemble a psychotic break. Since Freud, there has been a bias against spirituality in mainstream psychology, and so, many people are understandably reluctant to seek the treatment they need.

Their friend was long ago diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and her mother had suffered from schizophrenia. The friend had been hospitalized for her illness in the past, got on medication, and improved significantly. Like many people, she went off the meds that were helping her so much due to the side effects, and because she believed she didn’t need them anymore. But something else of great import was happening also.

One of the things I learned in graduate school that has been a useful rule of thumb is that the mentally ill person is drowning in the sea while the mystic is treading water. They are both in the same sea, however. One of the ways we distinguish between the two states is to assess how stable the person has been able to be in their life – have they been able to care for their activities of daily living, provide shelter and food for themselves, for example.

As I said to the concerned couple on the phone, we need to first do a full assessment, then treat the mental illness and support the spiritual awakening.

It is important to find a therapist with special training in Spiritual Emergency. If you are not in the LA area, you can find one through the Association for Transpersonal Psychology (ATP) website at http://atpweb.org/Professional/ProfDir.asp

© 2009 Catherine Auman

We took the Underground everywhere, also known as the Tube, London’s clean and efficient rapid transit system. The Tube was great for people watching – nearly everyone looked puffy and as if they didn’t eat many fresh vegetables. There were signs posted all over that said Mind the Gap — a safety reminder for people to watch their step as they traversed from the platform to the train.

It seemed a bit more metaphysical to me.

Buddhists practice a meditation of watching the breath. It can be quite powerful to sit and observe the long inhale as it draws in, chest and lungs expanding, hopefully the abdomen and belly, too. Then to watch the long exhale, with its calming effect. When you sit with the breath long enough, you may experience an eerie sensation that you are not breathing at all — something is breathing you. In fact, it seems more accurate to say we are being “breathed.”

Osho, the great Tantra Master, however, said it’s really about watching for the gap between the outgoing and ingoing breath. It takes a little awareness but you can locate it if you slow way down, and if you look closely, you’ll notice a space between each inhale and exhale where nothing is happening. There’s a gap, a silence, a doorway to another reality. It’s like the silence between words, the white space on the page, the background murmur rather than the foreground conversation. That’s the gap, Osho said, where who you are really exists.

Another of my favorite memories of London was touring the Globe Theater, and our guide whose raucous stories split our sides with laughter. But the thing I loved most about London was these spiritual reminders appearing everywhere, all over underneath the town. Mind the Gap. Remember to find out who you really are.

© 2010 Catherine Auman

When we breathe, we can feel our feelings, both pleasurable and difficult. In this culture, however, we are taught to do whatever we can to avoid feeling bad. Anything unpleasant, and we are expected to will it away, or dispense of it through alcohol, food, or positive thinking. Holding one’s breath is quite effective at stopping feelings. It works.

People often hold their breath when faced with something uncomfortable. It can be as simple as encountering a driver with road rage, to as complex as trauma from childhood abuse. But habitually stopping one’s feelings can become chronic patterns of which a person is entirely unaware. Chronic holding means that some of us never take a full, deep breath anymore. Tension is locked in the body anywhere that breath will not go.

Leonard Orr’s Rebirthing and Stan Grof’s Holotropic Breathwork are two techniques that involve having the client relax in the presence of a coach or partner and begin to take full deep breaths. This can induce all kinds of effects: recall of traumatic events, muscle tetany, crying and screaming, streaming bliss states. Orr believed that a basic series of ten sessions would be enough to “unlock” the breath and create profound and lasting change. When emotions are released that were previously stopped with the breath, there is often a corresponding release of vitality. It takes a lot of energy to keep those emotions repressed in the body.

The yogis have given us many breathing techniques for optimum health and wellbeing. Tantrikas, bodyworkers, and energy healers use the breath to process out old stuck emotions and induce higher states of consciousness. In my practice, I often teach my patients how an anxious, unhappy breath is shallow and rapid, filling only the top part of the lungs. Together we will practice a relaxed breath, deep and slow and full into the belly.

So go ahead, take a nice deep slow inhale, bringing the breath all the way down to your tailbone. Now, let it out slowly, slower still. Who knew feeling blissful was this easy? Or that it is available at every moment, every day of your life.

© 2009 Catherine Auman